An Insight Into Eating: What is it all about.

That title might be a touch misleading in its scale.  I will not be addressing eating problems for the populace as a whole, I will be looking specifically at some insights I had during a meditation this afternoon.

For me eating has many issues.

• I am aware that food can make me sick so I avoid it.
• I am aware that food can heal me so I seek it out.
• I remember being told off for taking food as a child so I fear it.
• I enjoy the stimulation I receive when I eat it so I desire it.
• I associate food with social gatherings so it comforts me.
• I associate restaurants with having to explain my diet so it, and social interaction, stress me out.
• I lose control around food so I avoid it.
• I lose control around food so I seek it out.
• I have been taught to abhor waste so I can not leave it unfinished
• Society punishes the gluttonous so I can not finish.

And I am sure, many many more.  These are not the insights that came to me today.  These are deep-seated issues that I have.  What I worked out today is that food for me is very much about boredom. I eat when I am bored.  

There is very little stimulation in my life.  A large amount of it revolves around trying to heal.  I plan my days.  I meditate extensively.  I juice.  I eat healthy meals.  Then I go to bed after maybe watching something.  In that mix there is very little that stimulates me mentally.  Nothing to occupy my mind instead of “hmmmm, maybe I will grab a snack”.

Now I am not saying that my food issues are solely boredom based.  Indeed the list above is as accurate as it is incomplete.  However for me, reducing my daily stimulation to the meals that I eat has resulted in a bad situation where I will use almost any excuse to feed the issues that I have around food (with sugar mainly) in order to liven up the day.

Now some solutions.  I need more excitement in my life.  Although I have recently started looking to the future with more anticipation I need to engage my mind now.  And what better way to plan for the future than to make anyone foolish enough to be reading my blog on a weekend work through my thoughts with me.

• Start learning java again: I started over Christmas and almost had a program going that could solve Sudoku but stopped when the tumors returned.
• Start reading about web design: I recently got a book on web design and figure it is as good a place as any to restart my global domination aspirations.
• Start going to the jazz band I have been meaning to go to on Wednesday nights.
• Practice my instrument so that I can rejoin or start a smaller band.  A long-held goal.
• Finish my book on the statistics of populations.  Sounds boring, is actually very interesting.

Well I guess that is a good start.  I think the thing is to put aside an hour for one of each of these a day a stick to it.  In the end I always seem to not have any time but I suspect I waste a lot.  So if I am more disciplined then I will hopefully be able to start enjoying these activities again.

On that theme…