I feel I have so much to offer. What the fuck is the point of all this. I see children on tv and I break down. I am happy less and less. I dont know what to do, I have ideas but no time. More and more escape overtakes me. Fuck. One this I have realised is I can not just surrender to death and enjoy my remaining time. I can not give up, but I struggle to see how to continue.
Oh Jerome, you do have so much to offer. Yesterday Huey climbed to the very top of an enormous spider web, and I thought of you. I still hope that one day you will take my kids climbing, as I have always imagined you would. And if you can’t, I will take them, and talk about the awesomeness of you.