Monthly Archives: August 2011


I am very tired. I sleep about 12 hours a day but I am still tired. My pain is down, then it is up again. I an struggling to get a grip on the situation. Things look good, but I … Continue reading

Posted in Update | 4 Comments

Leave everything behind and be free

“in the end she died so quickly that she left everything behind and was free”. My poor recollection of the words of a dancer about the death of Pina Bausch in the movie “Pina”. Those words got me. I cried … Continue reading

Posted in Inner peace | 1 Comment


Thank you to all who have read and commented on posts. I have read and loved every one. If you havn’t commended no problem. Thank you always for reading. I write for myself but it is comforting to know that … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Changing room

I sit in the changing room at the hospital. Nameless blue gown barely pretending to cover me, head in my hands, tears running down my cheeks. I cry for so many things that I could never describe them all. I … Continue reading

Posted in Mental Health | 6 Comments


I can not describe or understand how I can be so angry and yet not at the same time. I think of climbing, my friends, my children (clearly the idea, not the reality,) and suddenly I am so angry I … Continue reading

Posted in Mental Health | 1 Comment


Wake, eat, radiation, sleep, eat, sleep, move, take pills, recover, eat, watch tv, sleep. And again. And again. I tire of this. I tire of that. Yet sleep is already dominant.

Posted in Update | Leave a comment


My leg hurts. I am exhausted all the time. The tumours are shrinking but my god they are leaving a mess behind. I feel sick. I feel depressed. I just want to curl up in a ball and not talk … Continue reading

Posted in Update | 1 Comment