Monthly Archives: October 2011

Climbing continues to make me sad.  It represents so much that I don’t want to leave behind.  Love of nature, friends, self and fancy equipment that I can spend lots of time researching 😛 I joke but I do get … Continue reading →

Stayed up late talking to Amelia about life the universe and everything.  It made me so happy.  The knowledge that the people I love will live on in a beautiful world is a great comfort to me.  I cried much, … Continue reading →

I would give it all away for one day on my old life. I can see this life slipping away and I don’t want what is left. What is left is nothing but decline and pain. I hate this more … Continue reading →

I am crying a lot again. It would be rare to go 6 hours without breaking down. My breathing has for the first time become truly difficult. I have an appointment at peter mac next week. I always liked the … Continue reading →

The world is so beautiful I can not bear it. I do not wish to die and yet it seems I will. The world is so wonderful I cry. I would give almost anything to leave this life and travel … Continue reading →

I jerk awake and instantly regret it.  I have left a land of infinite possibilities for one of slow, committed drudgery.  Life has degraded of late.  I am no longer comfortable much of the time.  My leg is once again sore.  I have tumours everywhere.  My breathing … Continue reading →

I sit here, drinking my green juice in the afternoon of my fast day on a knife edge. I stand on a razor thin edge looking at two radically different valleys. In one, I stop my fast and head up … Continue reading →

Why is it that climbing is the thing that hits hardest.  I don’t know.  Every time I look at a picture of a person climbing I am flooded with emotions diverse but dominated by rage.  It hurts more than I … Continue reading →

Today I am fasting again. Just for a day. I am thinking of fasting one day a week. I have always felt that my health is better when I fast. So maybe fasting once a week will be a good … Continue reading →

I am devastated. I felt alone and horrifyingly afraid. I do not know what to do and I suspect things are slipping towards a brink. My breathing is not right and everyone I hear my chest “whistle” or “splutter” it’s … Continue reading →