It hurts. It physically hurts. I watch a climbing video, something that used to give me so much pleasure, and it just hurts. Something I love so much has been taken from me. I will almost certainly never climb again. It hurts so much I want to scream. I want to tell the universe to go fuck itself. I started climbing in 2005. I got maybe 3 years before I got sick. Its not enough. I wanted a lifetime to explore this new love.
Fuck you universe.